four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
