I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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