OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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