Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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