I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize