Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
this will be a night to untag.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
