we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
