It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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