Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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