Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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