The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
