She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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