I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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