I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
