i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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