i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i believe in u and ur pee
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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