WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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