after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
