She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
