dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize