Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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