he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
