I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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