Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Let's get the cat blown out
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
