Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
