let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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