She is in my trunk
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
