Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
