why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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