just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
