Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
