we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
