we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
