It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
