hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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