I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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