So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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