i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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