i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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