She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You're like the curious george of whores
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
