Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
