Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
