Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
