You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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