Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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