Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
