So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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