An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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