this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
