Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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