i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
