is wine microwaveable?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
