More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
