I wish I could teleport
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
