He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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