she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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