I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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