you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
