he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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