Fuck appropriateness.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
