Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
