There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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