I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
