Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize