Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
