There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
