Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
