Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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